GACKT THE DRAGON KILLER or YOU'S SINGING LESSONS
by thegacktjunkie
Summary: jrock. gackt camui. gacktjob. so u all know that gackt is a total lady killer right? But what happens when he becomes a ‘dragon killer’? random crazy fic starring - Gackt/You/Chacha/20feettalldragon/crazyfangirls. read and review!


GACKT THE DRAGON KILLER or YOU'S SINGING LESSONS

Summary – so u all know that gackt is a total lady killer right? But what happens when he becomes a 'dragon killer'?

Author's note – this fic came to my mind when I read a comment on youtube saying – "why hasn't you-san (gacktjob) done a solo album, like chacha-san?"

And someone had replied – "you-san can't sing to save his life! He's really bad, I've heard him!"

Whoosh! The whole fanfic came rushing into my head!

Its my first fanfic so be kind!

Its very crazy and random hehe…you'll see…

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One sunny morning, You-chan was happily skipping down a road in Tokyo. He was happy, because the street was completely empty – "no fangirls to maul me!" He thought.

Suddenly, a shadow fell on him as a huge monster blocked his way.

"SING human being!" the monster growled. "And you better sing WELL, or else I'll maul you and eat you up!"

You-chan looked up and froze in horror. It was a 20 feet tall black dragon, with evil looking teeth and evil looking spikes coming out of its back.

Slowly You–chan's horror turned into utter gloom. "I can't sing", he said dejectedly, "do you want me to get the salt and pepper? I'll taste better." He was gloomily trudging off when suddenly he got a brainwave – "no wait!" he said. "I have an idea!"

Then he screamed at the top of his lungs – "GACKT-SAN!! SAVE MEEEE!!!!"

Suddenly out of nowhere, Gackt burst into the scene. His eyes were smoldering, his expression was passionate and he was basically looking friggin hot (kinda like when he bursts into the church in the takano yuri advert). "Don't worry You-chan!" said Gackt in his deep sexy voice, "I will save you! No matter what the danger is, I will deal with it in my super sexy way … OH MY FUCKING GOD!! WHAT THE HELL IS _THAT_ ?!" Gackt's voice was now considerably less deep, rather shrieky, actually. He too froze in horror.

The dragon was meanwhile getting impatient. It repeated its command – "sing and sing well, or else I'll eat you up!"

Gackt un-froze in relief. "That's it? Whoa, that'll be plain sailing then. Ok monster, I'll sing, and you better listen, and listen well. Then you can just get the hell out of our lives ok?" He cleared his throat. And began singing…Kagero. (author's note – one of my favourite songs!)

"_koboreru toiki no sukima kara chirabaru himei wo atsume, _

_yaketsuku kono sora ni wa mada musuu no kanashimi ga afureteru…_

(From the gap in sighs spilling out, scattered screams assemble

In the burning sky, an infinite sadness is still overflowing…)"

Gackt was lost in his song. Being a thorough professional and a complete music lover, he forgot about the monster, the danger, the sobbing you-chan standing next to him. It was just him and his song. He sang it with full expressions, the heartbreak searing through his voice and reflecting on his face.

The dragon was lost in his song. It swayed with the music, and sighed. It had never heard anything so beautiful in its life.

"… _anata no sono egao ga kienai you ni_

(…It looks like your smile won't vanish)"

Gackt finished. You-chan sighed with relief. The dragon however, sighed with LOVE.

"That was so beautiful. Marry me!" she said (yeah, 'it' was a 'she'!)

You-chan burst into tears again. Gackt looked dumbfounded – "eh? What? No…"

"You dare reject me?" the dragon had a dangerous glint in her eyes. "Marry me or else I'll eat you both up! And that's a promise!"

At that moment, Gackt had a sudden brainwave. He pulled You-chan to his chest dramatically and hugged him tightly "I'm sorry, I can't. You see, I'm homosexual, and You-chan and I are deeply in love, and we're already engaged." To make his point clearer, he sang a little song –

"You're a lady, you're not a guy

Sorry, I'm homo, I'm not even bi

So even though I'm an expert at the game of love

I'm sorry to say, 'You' is my little dove"

The monster, without batting an eyelid, replied with her own song –

"I'm not a lady, I'm not a guy

I'm a friggin monster, and I'll set you on fire

So marry me NOW if you value your life

Take me to the church and make me your wife"

"And buy me a wedding ring", she added as an after thought. "Dang, that spoiled my little rhyme".

"It wasn't very good anyway…I mean 'guy' rhymes with 'die', not fire", said Gackt, critically.

You-chan was basically getting sick and tired of the whole thing and had realized that Gackt wasn't going to help at all. So he had another brainwave. (Our jrockers are a clever lot, always getting brainwaves). He grabbed Gackt's cellphone and pressed the red button marked 'emergency'.

Suddenly, a black limousine burst onto the scene out of nowhere. Out of the limo, looking all hot and stylish, burst out ….chacha-san! He was wearing a black suit, and black glares, with his hair flying in the wind and all… basically looking smoking hot.

Cha-san walked up to Gackt grumpily ."What is it NOW, Gackt-san? Its barely 10 in the morning and you've already called the emergency number thrice…why the hell do you keep getting into scrapes with women constantly? I'm sick of it! You really need to tone down on all these 'women-trouble', or else…OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" chacha had finally noticed the dragon.

"Woman trouble" replied Gackt sheepishly, "she wants to marry me. Or else she'll kill us."

"Marry him huh? Well that's ok… (The others gasped at chacha's words) but well have to schedule it between the next two tours…and announce it too…hmm, its gonna be a bit of a squeeze…we'll need to tell the papers and all…tell me, who are you? Where did you come from?" he looked contemplatively at the dragon.

"Eh? Why do you need to know that?" the dragon said.

"For the newspapers, obviously. You must have come from somewhere, I mean, I don't think you sprung up from a flower pot this morning, did you? tell you what, we'll sit somewhere and have a cozy chat...how about the beach?" chacha said brightly.

They all trooped down to the beach in silence. They sat on a rock, and the dragon then told her story.

"I come from the deepest part of the ocean, which was, till recently completely undisturbed and peaceful. Then one day, humans came and started poking around. They wanted to take one of us back as a 'sample' of a deep sea creature. They caught my boyfriend norbert (sniff! sob!) and took him back with them. I vowed I would rescue him, but I got completely lost on land. I was distressed, so I wanted to hear something soothing. You look a bit like norbert…" she said shyly, looking at Gackt, "so that's why I would love to marry you."

"I look like a 20 feet tall black dragon? Cooool!" said Gackt.

"You idiot! Do you like digging your own grave?" groaned You-chan.

'what? I just said that…"

"Gackt-san, just shut it for a minute will you" this time it was Chacha. Gackt fell into a sulky silence.

"Wasn't there something about a giant sea creature being caught off the shore of Hungary in the news yesterday? They called it the 'hungarian hornback dragon' (author's note – yeah, its from harry potter!). That must have been your norbert. But how do we rescue him?" said chacha.

Gackt brightened up. "Leave it to me!"

He held a press conference and announced – "I heard about the sea creature that has been caught for experiments in Hungary. Being an ardent environmentalist, I am shocked and saddened. That creature belongs to the deepest sea, and must not be made to suffer on land. I have hence decided that if it is not released before sundown today, I will STOP SINGING FOREVER."

Panic spread through all the 'dears' all over Japan. What to do?! How to rescue a creature lying in _Hungary_?! The dears in Japan realized that it would be impossible to do this without the help of Gackt's worldwide fan base. They decided to swallow their pride and humbly beg his international fans (author's note - no offence to Japanese fans here! Please, I'm just tryin to be funny! So, gomen, gomen!) to help.

PANIC spread through the international fangirls. Mass hysteria ensued amongst them. Many contemplated the best way for suicide…

…but being the intelligent, enterprising, fearless and hardworking lot that all gackt-fans are, they soon fell into positive, result-oriented action. An international forum was opened 'Freaked-out Foreign Fangirls Forum(F4)' which discussed the plan of action carefully.

So the fangirls went out on marches. The fangirls informed the media. The fangirls stormed the scientists' laboratory where the dragon was kept. The fangirls set him free. Basically, the fangirls did all the super human heroic stuff, while Gackt sat on the beach polishing his fingernails, Chacha-san combed his hair contemplatively, and You-chan sat sniffing silently and occasionally blowing into a tissue.

Soon Gackt got a call from F4- "dragon released. Has reached the sea, safely. Please tell us you won't do…you-know-what!"

"Sure love, don't you worry", Gackt smiled, and then told the dragon, "go home. Norbert will be waiting for you there."

"How do I thank you guys…" the dragon rose tearfully.

"Thank us by going away, please", said all three.

"Ok! Sayonara!"

They waved as they watched her disappearing into the horizon.

Then, when they could no longer see her, gackt turned to you-chan and said sternly – "I'm giving you singing lessons from tomorrow. Next time round, you better rescue your own bloody self!"

THE END

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AUTHOR'S EXTENDED NOTE -

Thanks for reading my totally weird fic!

Please review…all kinds of reviews are welcome, it doesn't matter if you hate it or love it!

I've got lots of other Gackt fanfics all complete and waiting to be penned down, in my head(Gackt's 'takano yuri' adverts are especially inspiring coz they are SO FUNNY without meaning to be so, lols!)…I'll write them right after my exams get over, in a months time or so. So watch out for them!

Thanks again, pp!!


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